On Hand-Me-Downs

Why the clothes you love the most are often the ones you never knew you wanted.

People love to give me clothing.

Ever since high school, I have mysteriously attracted bags of unloved clothing in the same manner a ripe durian attracts elephants and wild pigs. People will quietly hand me their old stuff, as if we’re taking part in some illicit drug deal. I suppose it’s not actually that mysterious—if you develop a reputation for loving secondhand clothing, sure enough you’ll start to attract more of it into your life. As soon as other people identify you as a lover of beautiful things, they’ll want to pass along the beautiful things they no longer have space for in their lives. This happens to my mom constantly. As a professional dressmaker, her clients often gift her special items of clothing that they inexplicably can no longer care for because they know she’ll appreciate them. Sometimes these pieces even have a magnificent story of their own to tell.

The green velvet and fur collar that I wrote an entire Chatelaine story about.

When you’re a kid, hand-me-downs are anathema. They’re begrudgingly worn items that remind you of your own lack of agency—things you’ve been consigned wear as opposed to things you have chosen for yourself. But as an adult, hand-me-downs shift from being purely practical to deeply sentimental. Not only does the act of giving someone a piece of clothing say, “I think of you,” it implies that they consider you frequently enough to have formed a perception of your personal style in their head. Then when a particular item that fulfilled that vision crossed their path, they decided to pass it along. All summer, I’ve been wearing virtually nothing but hand-me-downs. For some reason, it’s been much more appealing to throw on the navy pinstripe elastic waistband pants or the voluminous cotton maxi dress my friend Sarah gifted me than consciously put together an outfit. Hand-me-downs are low-maintenance, sentimental and stylish—a winning combination.

The hand-me-down navy dress of summer.

Recently, I had a hand-me-down encounter that can only be described as serendipitous. After noticing my incessant posts about barrel-leg jeans, the publicist Tat Read sent me a message letting me know she had a pair of unworn Acne Jeans she didn’t want anymore and thought I might appreciate them. “Unworn Acne Jeans?” I thought? Why would you just give those away? Wouldn’t you rather sell them or consign them and get back part of what you paid? But she insisted. When I arrived to try them on, not only did she have the Acne Jeans ready to go, she had put together another stack of jeans for me to try on entirely. Then she took me on a closet tour and invited me to take some of the unloved pieces she had hanging around that either didn’t fit or feel like her style anymore. I wasn’t just surprised, I was completely gobsmacked by this act of generosity. Not only did I have a fun afternoon hanging out and getting a tour of the greatest hits in her closet, I walked away with a bag stuffed with some incredible pieces that I can’t wait to incorporate into my closet.

Here’s a breakdown of my latest breathtaking hand-me-down haul.