We live in a historic age for sneaker/ballerina flat hybrids. My Insta explore page is an ever-rotating mess of them — especially after writing this article on how Nike Air Rifts are this summer’s must-have shoe for ELLE. Some are cute, others not so much, but one thing is clear: the number of styles on the market appears to be growing at an exponential rate. Even Jeep, the car brand, makes their own version. In the interest of the public good, I’ve decided to keep tabs and rank the most popular styles according to my personal preference. If there are any I missed, please let me know in the comments.
The absolute worst of the bunch. This shoe looks like every fibre of its soul is rebelling against the velcro strap. The totally flat sole looks clunky and wrong in Mary Jane form. If you want to wear Sambas, just buy the lace-ups. These are an abomination. (Adidas, $130)
I can’t stand the wavy sole, and the fact they they tried to pack so many different colours into a single shoe feels like a miscarriage of creativity—like the designer came to work that day feeling like an underappreciated genius and came up with… these. I would not want them anywhere near my feet. (Sorel, $125)
Why does the strap have a buckle? Why is the rubber translucent? I can see how these are cool in a very Y2K revival sort of way, but wearing these would make me look and feel like a 12-year-old child. (Fila, $128)
I am sorry but I do not like these. They resemble the original lace-up Speedcats far too closely, and the result is a trendy bastardization of a perfectly good shoe. They’re not the worst shoe I’ve ever seen but I would judge anyone who wears these as incurably basic. (Puma, $110)
Very girly dad sneakers. Something about the combination of the laces and straps and frilly flourishes just feels like a bit too much. But I adore Cecilie, so I’ll give them a pass. (Asics, $200)
These are kind of psycho but I don’t hate them. I don’t like them either, per se, but the platform sole is fun in a very ‘1997 Spice Girls’ kind of way, and the thick velcro strap reminds me of the kind of shoe a kid would wear in Kindergarten. Cute. (Adidas, $130)
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